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December 2008 
What's the most important thing that happened to you this month?
Posted on Oct 31st, 2007
by 
Cat Is All That
Cat Is All That
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 31, 2007:
My father suffered a stroke. This seemingly immortal, macho guy who has smoked for 60 years became ill for the 1st time in his life.
Having an ill parent has changed my entire focus. All of my spare time and energy goes to my family. My family in this situation is as good as one could hope for: my mother is upbeat, hopeful and never complains. She spends every hour with him. My brother and I take turns seeing him and staying with her. My father has tons of friends who visit him daily. We have relatives who visit and contribute. He has had quite a few health set-backs but the progress continually remerges. The new challenge is keeping his spirit up.
Between work, regular life and daily 40 mile round trips to the hospital- I am tired.
But I am gratfeul- grateful that he has a chance to heal, grateful that my family has been near ideal and calm, grateful for support from friends and family, grateful that I haven't been exposed to much illness of loved ones.
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Surrounded by such love your dad will do well. The blessing is that the stroke was a warning that the body requires change. You describe your dad as I could have described my own. However, my dad didn't get a warning…he had a major heart attack and passed. No time to say, I love you, thank you or I'm here for you. Sad. Your dad is feeling and witnessing the love. God bless! I will keep his healing in my thoughts.
Your description of the situation and your feelings is heart warming. Just being together and showing loving support is the best thing you can do for all concerned.
Speaking from recent experience with a spouse, “being” love is most important. They find there way and so do you. Speaking as an energy healer, try holding him and simply laying your hands on his back for a period of time. Think “I love you”, “you are healthy”. Hold him anywhere you feel inspired to do so. Be still and generate love when you do. You don't need to say anything, just think it. If that isn't possible then hug him, or hold his feet, his hands, his face. Spend time connecting with his body and his spirit will get the message, and vise versa. This is very healing for you also. There are issues we never think of that are in need of attention.
As Dina said (and Dina, my condolences) this is a warning. It could change his life for the better in many ways, and all of your lives. We appreciate things and see a more crisp and true version of life through these events. And these events can give us quality time, precious time that is so much more of a gift than we could ever have imagined.
But do take care of yourself and believe me, no matter how strong your Mom is, help her take care of herself also. In a household with illness, all parties are effected. Say yes to all genuine help. It is all a gift.
My prayers and thoughts go with you, your family, and your Dad for a speedy and spirited healing.
Namaste
Jackie has said it very well. Never under estimate the power of physical touch. And always remember, no matter what your father is displaying, or you think you see on the outside, he is very much “in there” just as always. (II am a stroke survivor myself)
Talk to him, but more important - listen- like you never have before. Be positive in every response to him no matter what he says. Laugh and enjoy being with him. To make my Dad smile, I would kiss him on the nose as he lay in his bed.
And remember to take care of yourself too.
namaste,
mimi
All of the above suggestions are wonderful.
Just wanted to extend heart love to you. My dad suffered a series of strokes before dying of something completely different a few years later. He felt, at first, so vulnerable, so unlike his former, hard-living self. He was embarassed to be weak and in need. As the months passed he became a very different, and very lovable person, able to accept all the care he received. (He even got a tad demanding!)
I wish you all a gentle journey.
Victoria
Friends Involved in Sharing Hope (FISH). Soft prayers for you and yours. Joe
I'm sending you love and light and prayers for your Dad and your family.
Love, Lisa
Thank you all SO much for your loving thoughts and suggestions.
I do visualize his healing and his engaging in his therapy. He has yet to mention a cigarette in 3 weeks and that’s encouraging as well as surprising!
I do massage his arms and hands, and I have just begun wheeling him outside to feel the sun and breathe fresh air- when we’re allowed- it makes such a difference in his mood.
And most importantly, I continue to focus on gratitude on every level. namaste